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Below are 20 journal entries, after skipping by the 20 most recent ones recorded in Occult Dreams' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, February 26th, 2006
11:39 pm
the dark moon night
Did anyone here notice that the dark moon tonight seemed particularly powerful? Dark moons are always a time of power for me, but tonight's for some reason felt stronger. I went outside since it's nice out to my little grove of trees by a very small lake inside our apartment complex and cast a short prayer of intention using my wolf wand. It felt stronger than usual. I've never included this new wand in ritual until tonight. Maybe I'd better start counting it in from now on.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
6:02 pm
Who has influenced me most in my walk?
Konstantinos. His book, "Nocturnal Witchcraft" was solely responsible for setting me down the path of night that I walk. I still pick up and read his book every once in a while just to reaffirm and reconnect in a way. Konstantinos helped me to contact my inner mind and in turn, to contact the astral world and cast my intention directly into the night. I don't require the use of gods and goddesses, but I touch base with the energies he presents in his book of nocturnal witchcraft.

Current Mood: sleepy
5:38 pm
So Where is everyone lately? This group has gotten kind of dead don't you think?

I've been offline but should be all set up by the end of the week (crosses fingers) so I'll be able to make more posts, but I don't want to be the one dragging this group either. So therefore you all need to start posting some to!

Come on! I know you can do it!


P.S. I just got the Divination deck called A Well Worn Path
which is created by Raven Grimassi and Stephanie Taylor, very beautiful and useful deck even though it tends to lean more toward the Wiccan Spiritualitly(nothing against wiccans mind you I'm just not one) they still speak to me and have been very useful thus far. Anyone else ever use this deck?
Saturday, January 21st, 2006
2:35 pm
The Will Power.................
Lately I have been finding myself being able to will things. I don't mean anything major but just little things.


I work at a small store that is in a major part of the city so it gets some major buisness (cigs, lotto, soda, etc.).
I find myself being able to put up wards that are very effective so I don't spaz out and kill the old mumbling lady who buys 300 scratch tickets at a time or the growing numbers who just don't speak english.
I find myself visioning the color purple(why purple i don't know) and I let it form a bubble around me. When I put up this block/ward I never have a problem with an annoying customer, however when I forget to put up these wards it's an on slaught of stupid/annoying/rude people.

Lately I have also been able to will people to give me smaller bills (we have an ATM machine that only gives 20's so we get about 3 grand(if not more) in 2o's a shift).

When ever I get low on change I find myself focusing on people wallets and it's like i can "feel" what they have, and I will them to pay in the smallest bills and preferable exact change, 9 chances out of 10 this works.

Now the weird thing is I just do this by instinct at work. Any other time i try to do something like that it's a hit or miss.

Any thoughts and/or opinions?


Current Mood: curious
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
11:55 pm
Well, I have been thinking and want to know what other people feel about the terms "white" and "black" in reference to magic. Frankly, I hate the terms. To me the terms are just too... black and white. Magic and those who work it are too complex to categorize into only two groups.

Just my opinion, but I would love to know what others think about it.

Current Mood: contemplative
8:16 pm
Hmmm Im kinda stuck in a rut

I've been studying wicca for two years now (on and off) and I just recently (last year) got baptized, confirmed and am now a member of my church. I can't seem to leave either one.

Although I certainly hate going to church no one really suspects of my wiccan practices. So therefore I am calling myself a Christo-wiccan just for labels sake, I know its controverisal, but I have no other name for my path. :| I certainly don't want to LEAVE my church, since I love the community they have built and so many of my good friends go to my church and yeah, I couldn't bare to leave it.
7:07 pm
So I've been all over the place spiritually for the last year yet stranglely i alwauys end up back where I started, and this is with my strong relationships to the gods/demons/demi-gods of ancient greece. Lately it has become almost an obsession (for lack of better word). It's like I'm being pushed to find something. I keep feeling there is something I'm missing, something i should be seeing right in front of me.
Does this make any sense? Has anyone had a similar expierence?

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
10:37 pm
Death Magick
What's the correlation between death and magick? I know that there is necromancy, but I have heard the term floating around "death magick" between circles and was wondering if anyone had ever encountered anything like that, experienced it, or works with it currently.

It's been one year since my friend Scott was murdered. I went on Monday to the court house to go see his murderess' plea hearing. I am hearing rumors that she is going to go for the guilty plea with a bargain of some kind. Go figure that one out. I've been thinking about death and change. They go hand in hand and I think they are one and the same. Change and death are sides of the same coin, essentially, I believe.

I've moved on, but there is a part of me on the anniversary of his murder that finds myself looking backwards for closure and realizing that there was none... even the funeral was almost separated from my emotions. It's a little weird. I feel that I have no one to really talk to about this. My friend Joey wasn't in the circle of those friends and he doesn't understand. I feel that there aren't many people who understand what it is to have a friend violently torn away. And on top of that, the whole circle of friends scattered and went their different ways it seems. It's like no one knew how to handle that. I wonder sometimes if he suffered before he finally died. He was stabbed 20 times when he was sleeping by her and laid in his room dying for at least an hour before the police got there (no shots fired, complicated mess). And then he was taken to the hospital where he died at like 2am that morning.

Anyways, straying off topic... graveyard dust. Ever used it? It's just dirt to some, but there are magickal books that swear it has connections to the dead and is therefore a powerful ingredient in both several blessings and several cursing powders. I think I need to see a counselor. LoL We do get it for free for a period of time from work. Thank gods for benefits, huh? I didn't think I felt anything at all. For a year. It's like I forgot to feel anything about it and now that things are going better, well I have time to think.

Current Mood: awake
Monday, January 9th, 2006
7:42 pm
Last night I had a strange dream, I only remember a second of it and it was that I dreamt of 'stealing' a necklace. The necklace was of a turtle and one the turtle's back was a pentagram colored in silver. Do you think this could mean that my spirit guide is a turtle?

Also I a thinking of starting a Herb Garden, what Herbs do you suggest?

Thanks in advance!

x posted a couple of times sorry
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
2:41 am
The Demon Astaroth:
From Wikipedia:

"Astaroth (also Ashtaroth, Astarot, and Asteroth) is a Grand Duke of Hell; his main assistants are four demons called Aamon, Pruslas, Barbatos and Rashaverak. In art, in the Dictionnaire Infernal, Astaroth is depicted as a nude man with dragon-like wings, hands and feet, a second pair of feathered wings after the main, wearing a crown, holding a serpent in one hand, and riding a wolf or dog. According to Sebastian Michaelis he is a demon of the First Hierarchy, who seduces by means of laziness and vanity, and his adversary is St. Bartholomew, who can protect against him for he has resisted Astaroth's temptations. To others, he teaches mathematical sciences and handicrafts, can make men invisible and lead them to hidden treasures, and answers every question formulated to him.
According to S.Francis Barrett, Astaroth is the prince of accusers and inquisitors. According to some demonologists of the 16th century, August is the month during which this demon's attacks against humans are stronger. His name seems to come from the goddess ‘Ashtart/Astarte which was rendered in the Latin Vulgate translation of the Bible as Astharthe (singular) and Astharoth (plural), that last form rendered in the King James Version of the Bible as Ashtaroth. It seems this plural form was taken either from the Latin or from some translation or other by those who did not know it was a plural form nor knew that it referred to a goddess, seeing it only as a name applied to some god other than God and therefore the name of a devil."

Astaroth's Seal

Current Mood: can't sleep; am thinking

Sunday, January 1st, 2006
9:35 pm
astral wards and astral guardians
In anyone's astral journeys, has there ever been an astral barrier and astral guards? I attempted to enter a place tonight and for the first time I got a strong sense of "you shouldn't be prying/ entering". I also saw hooded figures marching in a line chanting something unintelligible (or at least I couldn't make it out). Upon entering, I started to feel queasy in my stomach on a physical level, like I was growing physically faint.

I was just curious if anyone else has had this sensation before. I should have anticipated something like this would exist where i was going, but I didn't prepare adequately for it at all.

Current Mood: curious
9:28 pm
Astral tripping
Ouch. I sat at the table and did some astral traveling for the first time in many weeks. I enter a hallway after counting down from 13. I travel slowly down 8 stairs and enter a round room with grey stone walls and floor and ceiling. I am wearing a winged helmet and armor much like what one would associate with a valkyrie, which is odd since I'm asian. I enter the circular room and go to the middle where I raise a silver sword in my left hand. I point it at the altar in the center of the room. There is a bright white flash and a white crystal ball appears in front of me. It is a quartz crystal with inclusions, it is not smooth and clear.

I look into the crystal and tell it I wish to see inside the a certain temple. I want to visit and state my intention, thereby putting forth my candidacy on the astral level as well as in written form. I see in the crystal as it nears my vision, rows of people in black hooded cloaks filing past the surface. They are speaking in unison, and all I can see are their mouths and noses. Their eyes are hooded in shadow.

I start to feel sick and in my mind I get a message that I shouldn't be intruding. My stomach is feeling queasy on the physical level and I know that I have traversed an astral barrier of sorts. Why I didn't sense it beforehand or think of it beforehand is beyond me. But I move back away from the crystal portal and turn quickly to head up the 8 stairs.

I stop before counting upwards, sitting in the netherland between conscious and subconscious. I put forward intention this time towards my company, pushing and willing the rest of our program to go better than intended and reaffirm my ability and usefulness at the company, more as a personal affirmation before going to work tomorrow after a week off.

The crystal vanishes and I count upwards from 1 to 13 to normalize. I had to go have some water to help ground. And I think I need to ground a little more before bed. Stupid me, I should have thought ahead that there would be a barrier set up. And now I know what that feels like. I think the hooded figures were guards...

Current Mood: sick
Saturday, December 31st, 2005
2:07 am
hello do you think any of you could help me interpret this dream?

I had a dark dream last night.

I shall tell you about it.

First off my mother got me this voodoo box and it contained a book and a blue and orange colored bottle. Well that same bottle was in my dream.

I don't really remember where my dream started. I think it started at my house in my room, but I am not sure. The entire dream, was quiet, misty, cloudy and dark. It was plain dark. I guess I had my voodoo altar up (although in reality I don't have one) and I was meditating/praying to the gods and then suddenly a spirit like mist came up, and inside of me told me to capture some of that mist into the bottle. I was able too and then I saw that the mist kept swirling inside the bottle. I ended my meditation and got up from the altar and left my house.

Then the scene switched to my neighbors house (which I've never been in) and it was behind us. Usually I could see a light on in the house behind us, and I was in that room. Instead of being in a lighted room, the light was off. Me and I think another friend of mine was there. She told me to let some of the mist out in that house. I let some out and then closed up the bottle.

The scene switched over to me and two other people that were at my church. One of them happened to be a teacher from school, and then another was a friend of mine in a class. We started talking and then we said that we had to deliever the spirit to it's rightful place. Somehow I knew and then I walked around the church and out to the street with the other two people following me. Then the street merged into an old bridge that was hanging thousands of feet up int the air. The bridge was attached to two poles on a mountain. Again this scene was very misty. When you looked down all you could see was a big crevice. When you looked around all you could see were grassy mountains. The bridge was long and rickety. It took forever to reach the other side and on the other side was a shrine or temple of some sort. It was made from stone and had old plants growing all over it. Then I was told this is where I shall dump the spirit, and that's what I did, and that's when I woke up.


thanks in advance
Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
5:58 pm
an interesting topic to chew on....

Whats your views on it? Have you ever invoked or ussed a demons energy in any way? If so What were your results.
Sunday, December 25th, 2005
2:01 am
Happy Holidays to all.
I went to church with mom and dad tonight. I always go with my family to Xmas Eve service as a yearly tradition. A few years ago I made the decision that I wasn't going to enjoy it and went for family's sake.

This year is different. As people sang and spewed forth their worship, I found the name "Astaroth" filling my head again and again. I asked myself why I was thinking of this greater demon... The answer is as yet unclear. I remember when thinking the name of this demon two things happened...

I heard more jeers about the service and christianity inside my head. A sense of smug knowing came over me and then I found myself flirting with the man behind me and enjoying his curious glances as his wife sat next to him and then started scooching closer to him.

One of my current areas of interest is demonology and channeling the powers of demons. Not sure where this interest came from, but I know it's not the safest occupation in the world.

It is clear to me that extensive preparation and ritual is required prior to summoning demons. When I return to town I intend to study this further.

Another interesting note. My mom seemed a little uncomfortable with me at church and when she went to introduce me to the pastor (she had evidently written off her feelings), he was busy talking to someone else. But I could sense he was deliberately focusing on these other people. I was standing right next to him with my parents. There was no way to ignore the fact that we were standing there. I have never been so thoroughly ignored by a pastor before. Again that smug feeling came over me.

When I left, it subsided. We drove around looking at Christmas lights and went home.

Again, I believe that it's important to look at facts when one senses strange accomplishments.

It's clear to me that the study of demonology is going to be a new area of focus. Founded in classic christian occultism, there is plenty of western occult information about it in my library at home.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
5:23 am
A Hazy Shade of Winter
xposted in nightwynds
The Longest Night. Technically December 23rd is going to be the same amount of night. Welcome to one of my favorite times of the year. Night time holds its strongest sway tonight, banishing daylight to a mere 9 hours and a few odd minutes.

The Longest Night is a special time of celebration for me. I enjoy the evening hours a lot. The energy of night has always felt like an old friend to me. When I started celebrating the path of paganism, I learned to appreciate night in her many forms. Nyx, of Greek origin was one of the first ones, along with Nephthys, wife to Set (seth). Oddly enough this year I am finding myself with the opportunity to become closer to her husband.

I feel that this year is seriously winding down to an end and I am grateful for the opportunity to feel this much power and to have come this far inside of a year. I think that my life is finally gearing upwards and I don't want to see any end in sight. I think that 2006 will continue the trend of moving forward and onwards towards better things.

I am not afraid. I know that I am capable of the task, I know that I am in tune with my desires and wants and needs more than ever before. I am finally at a point where I will be able to realign my spiritual self with the rest of my mundane self to push myself even further forward. I hope this year starts off better and ends even stronger than 2005 did.

I hope that everyone has a blessed Yuletide and that Longest Night will bring its blessing of renewal to all.

Current Mood: awake
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
10:30 pm
The process of becoming
--a blurb of side thoughts also xposted in nightwynds

We are in the process of becoming. This process takes an entire lifetime. What do we become? Where do we go when we become? What if we don't become in time? In time for what?

Xeper-- the Setian Aeonic word that states "I have become". Perhaps one of the most important things in life is to figure out what we wish to become. Actually I should say one of the most important long term things is to figure out what we wish to become and then get on the road to becoming that thing.

Tonight I watched the Barbara Walters special on "heaven". It was interesting. 90% of all Americans believe that there is such a thing as heaven. Even if they define it slightly differently, they believe that a place of supreme happiness exists.

I think this is a sign of one thing... we are preconditioned to believe in supreme happiness. This location, "heaven", is built into our society as a reward for living a good life.

The world is highly overcrowded. There are way too many people on the earth now and one way of living as civilized people is to maintain a balance and control over our more animalistic base instincts to kill and survive. We do that by believing that we are somehow above the animals in our ability to be compassionate. We spark the belief in an afterlife as a reward/ punishment system for living at peace with our fellow man.

We make heaven and hell our rewards and our reason for living. If I am good, I go to heaven. I think that's such a twisted and ignorant way to live, no matter what religion you are. If you believe that there is a reward for doing good in life, then you have a serious issue with lying to yourself, for you must also believe that doing bad things in life means punishment awaits... and what rational person willingly manifests a hellish afterlife for themselves? It's all good for that 90% to believe in heaven when they believe that they are going there. But what do you do to assure 100% that you are going to be good enough to deserve the heaven you believe awaits?

Here's what I think. We are in the process of becoming gods ourselves. Humankind was given a different spark than the animals. We have intelligence. This intelligence by design is meant to make us higher than just the base instinct of animals. Intelligence feeds into our desire for survival. As sentient beings, aware of our existence, we seek naturally ways to calm our intellect and believe that we will continue.

And continue we can. We are in the process of becoming our own godlike being. There is no need to rely on a God or Goddess or a nature based religion of any sort if we are willing to take the power into our own hands and take responsibility for that power. As a species we continue to evolve and I believe that there are those who will become more dominant as they develop the ability to handle power that we have previously reserved for the gods.

We have the ability through our intelligence to tap into the unseen forces that rule nature itself. Learning, harnessing, and wielding this power implies a great deal of responsibility. There is no room for heaven in a mindset where intellect and psyche have ultimate power. There is no room for hell either; we become gods ourselves if we just desire the ability. And as gods, we determine our own destiny.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Monday, December 19th, 2005
7:14 pm
Stepping up past the plateau
When you go to the point that you reach a plateau in your spiritual walk, do you stop? Or do you look for ways to push past the plateau? What kinds of things do you do to push yourself further?

If you are a solitary, is there a point where you would say being solitary no longer fits what you need in your spiritual lifestyle? Or is it always enough?

Current Mood: pensive
Sunday, December 18th, 2005
4:44 pm
Graveyard meditations
xposted in nightwynds

I went down to the graveyard as I had originally planned. This time the place where we said goodbye to Scott was open. I drove around the graveyard for a while to locate a spot that wasn't busy. There are a lot of people in the graveyard today, visiting relatives for the holidays I suppose.

I decided to go to the mausoleum. Scott's in there and no one else is visiting in there for the most part. I went in and when the door closed it became very quiet. The sun was filtering through the windows. Only two of the slots in the mausoleum here have names. The others are blank, but they are occupied. I went and sat down on the floor against one of the walls and prepared to meditate.

I don't really wish to disclose what transpired, but it was a good meditation considering I haven't meditated in a while. I came to the conclusion I wanted after speaking with WS for a while. During the meditation I kept seeing different colors, mostly green, blue, and red and black. But after a while everything turned black. I felt a cold breeze against the front of my face through out the meditation. It was like the wind was blowing, but it wasn't. There was cold touch that had a sentience about it. Maybe one of the inhabitants there. I couldn't identify who it was.

Everytime I felt the cold touch, I breathed it in and after I left, the sun was setting and I felt light headed and very relaxed. I still haven't shaken the airy feeling. I think I will need to ground myself again...
11:32 am
the Temple of Set
I have been doing quite a bit of thinking lately about my path and have very nearly decided that it's time to associate with a group for the sole purpose of furthering my learning and understanding of magick and the black arts. I've been looking at the Temple of Set for some time now and am always intrigued by what I read about them.

Just curious as to whether anyone here has been a member/ knows someone who has been a member/ or knows of any experiences with the temple that might be of use to me.

Current Mood: decided
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